The Mindset Shift: From Indecisiveness and Anxiousness to Letting Go

HELLO THERE. I'm back on a weekly ting. And boy, a lot can change in a week. Some stuff happened... Most of all a mindset shift. And in a period where security, clarity and certainty are nowhere to be seen and I've felt pretty meh, I welcome this! If life feels hard or you're in a transition period, this is for you. 

How it happened? TLDR:

💡I met someone famous. We had an adventure.

💗 It's volunteering season for Alix–give back when life is hard and your cup is empty. That's when you need it the most.

📆 I can see a bit of an end in sight (well, checkpoint) because I have rough plan. 'Ahead' doesn't feel like this infinite amount of time with no clarity (enter: overwhelm). Human brains like knowing, and so putting something tangible in to break up the concept of time and ease the bigness of it all can diminish anxiety. Bit by bit, they say...

Full account below.

Unusual and great things that happened this week that inspired new thinking...

I found a book in a coffee shop called HELL YEAH OR NO by Derek Sivers. It spoke to me (obvs) because as you may have read from last blog post, I feel hella lost and at a checkpoint in my life. LORD, give me guidance. And he did. In the form of this book. Two great takeaways so far:

1. Do what makes you say 'Hell yeah.' Because if it doesn't, it's a 'no.' See your time/energy as important; for focusing on you and learning about yourself, and then also available for things that may come your way and light you up. You don't have to be/do/see everything if it doesn't fit with what's happening for you right now. Trust the inner compass and be more intentional.
2. Small actions change your self-identity. Not just big things, but all the little things we do everyday; our habits, our decisions, who we spend time with, our commitments etc. One action can change how we think about ourselves. e.g. you regularly read a book or take a course, and soon enough, you'll think of yourself as a learner. Think you're generous? What was the last thing you did that qualifies you as that... Or put it his way: You decide to do something that makes you feel confident (like take a pole-dancing class), so you start to act confident, and so you become confident. Your actions tell you who you are. 

On this note, I committed to writing this blog again weekly. Look at me go, I'm a writer!

I volunteered for Hello Yello, an organisation seeking to make Vancouver (with a reputation of being lonely) friendlier, one new conversation at a time. As a volunteer, I represent Hello Yello by talking to strangers in the city around some branded, eye-catching tables and chairs. (And yes, they are yellow.) I love chatting to people and learning new things, so this opportunity had my name all over it! I felt very nice after the hour–I was reminded of my essence and ability to change someone's day. Plus, I got a free donut from Lee's Donut shop beside our spot. LIFE WAS GOOD TO ME. The takeaway: I fully showed up that day in my shiny Alix-ness and I saw it mirrored back to me. Energy goes where energy flows.

That same morning, I met an American actor from a series called Trackers that's filming in Vancouver/BC. He was bubbly, cool, up for living life–Leo energy. He said 'hey' at a coffee shop, we swapped details and then met up later that day. Something that stuck with me from our meet was his ability to stay top of his game–unwaveringly; he uses daily affirmations that seat him in his completed goals and ideal life, he does what he loves to stay well (boxing and eating good), and he travels. The takeaway: Think like you've already 'got this' so your behaviour will mirror that energy and so things are more likely happen in your favour. Some call it manifesting. Some call it positive mental attitude...

People need people–getting out of my own spiral

I found solace in other people's stories this week. I saw myself in their situations. I didn't feel so alone in the unknown, and so my nervous system came back to baseline and I shifted into a brighter headspace, WAHOO:

1. I went for coffee with my manager who is also going through this unforeseen layoff and deciding what's next. She brought a sense of calm to the situation and spoke about taking some time before joining her next role, broken up with an Eat Pray Love-style trip to Italy this fall. Hearing her quiet confidence jolted me out of fear-thinking and into more calm; follow what feels right inside/what I need and trust that. Don't reactively chase things or operate out of panic (aka apply for 347 jobs due to the fear of having no money and not being able to provide for myself... C'mon Alix, I know that won't happen and I should give myself more credit). All will be right if I follow my intuition. And I know I have people and UK home to lean on if need be.

2. I spoke to a really close friend on the phone who is going through it too; we went to college together, we're the same age, both reconfiguring careers, living out of suitcases around the world with no fixed base, have male partners and experience choice paralysis for everything our lives could be. We've both recently received the news our work (her business, my job) is coming to an end in some way...and now we're in the thirties phases of our lives, we're seeking more fulfilment. We also don't know where/when/how children fit into this plan... Anyway, speaking about everything (as well as hashing out similar childhood trauma and limiting beliefs) felt like I had a partner in pain and we could validate each other's experiences. Immediately I felt lighter. Plus, she shared useful coping solutions and vice versa. :)

3. Last but not least: In the intro, I mentioned a 'rough plan'... I booked a one-way to meet my partner in Europe next month (he has to be there for work for the rest of this year). Now, the intention isn't to travel and 'live it up.' I want to use this period to reflect and have my intimate connection needs met (Maslow's hierarchy and all that). At this uncertain time, I need support. And I've missed him after months apart so I'm following what I feel inside. I'm hoping by doing this and being in a neutral place (between the familiar UK and Canada pulling me in their own directions), I get clarity on what I want my life to look like from here on out. The where, what, and why...watch this space.

To wrap, sometimes you just need to feel listened to, inspired and less alone. Oh, and gratitude always.

Speak next week in Portugal :) x