This blog post will be about exactly what it says on the tin. I got laid off. In 2024. It's been a rapid, surreal experience. So here's my account, a human account. And what I'm going to do next.
The Context
Layoffs are rife and have been since 2023. We're now on the cusp of fall/autumn 2024 and things ain't changing for the better. The tech sector especially, is being hit...or should I say, is doing the hitting. And I have been part of it for the last 6+months. It was short time to get in and out of tech, ha!
MY FIRST RESPONSE: To panic and look for a new job in the same or neighbouring industries, and same area.
MY RESPONSE NOW: After a month or so, I noticed I was operating out of fear; of having no money, of experiencing another period of unemployment like in 2023, but this time in another country where I am solo and more self-reliant. However, fear should never drive decisions––love and calmness should. I've also got some learnings to take note of. Read on...
With loss comes nostalgia
Now, I don't know about you but when I experience loss (a fairly impactful loss that affects my wellbeing. Not talking my favourite lippy...), I reflect a lot, like many of us do. This time, I've been flashing back to the 90s and how dreamy childhood days without phones, overthinking, and little lived experience feel really good in my heart. In hindsight, they were carefree and rose-tinted (aside from the trauma), because they were filled with more frequent moments of joy, more presence, more hobbies, more sibling time, more time around the table with people who cared for me and vice versa, and fewer responsibilities that landed just on ME. I know hindsight can cause us to cherry pick memories––I'm aware that is at play––but what I'm pulling on here is that we don't know what we don't know––and back then, I knew a whole lot less and had a freer, supple mind. BLISS.
In my 30+ years I've lived through a lot. The neurons in my brain have fixed pathways that cause me to respond in the same way when hard things happen; often in worry, overthinking, running through 5049 solutions in moments of distress (which is so useless and stops me sleeping), and thinking pessimistically. I wish I could rewire those neurons. It'll take years to do so, so I guess that's my job now; responding to short-term stress in a sustainable way and taking perspective in the moment––this pain is only for now, it's not forever.
My Hacks:
- Journalling: noting how my brain spirals in the night time and AM. I now have to catch myself when I start to ruminate and refocus on my nose breathing.
- Mediating: using Mooji's teachings. He's a spiritual legend.
- Self-talk: tell myself everything is going to be GOOD and to trust myself, not default to worry.
- Movement/working out: to combat anxiety which shows up in my chest/breathing.
Why this blog post matters
This is a reminder to get back to following my heart. I have been in my logical mind, honouring rational analysis too much this year and half of last (namely because UK/Canada economies have been shaken up badly, cost of living is insane, adulthood is in full swing and didn't tell us after the madness of the pandemic when we experienced collective trauma without the time to reconcile with ourselves and on a societal level), because circumstances required it. It didn't feel right––it actually felt indulgent––to follow my heart through shaky waters. For example:
I've thought my way through hard times, and as a result, I've ended up in more low periods than I would have liked. Because, aside from external factors, I've also been battling myself. My goal now is to reorient to trusting a source that very much honoured me in my 20s––my heart––so I can traverse shaky waters with a cup half full and come to solutions from a place of calm over fear. Aww <3.
Confiding in the RIGHT people
It's great to seek support from people we love and trust, but we gotta do it wisely. Too many cooks in the kitchen can create a ruddy mess(y mind).
1) We might default to seeking a source comfort and someone who loves us unconditionally. It's easy to go to them, as they will likely tell us what we want to hear. However, it might not be what we need to hear. Go there for hugs, warmth and to get feelings validated.
2) It's great go to a person who's been through what you have. They will likely offer you more tailored advice, Go there to be seen and for greater understanding but beware, it will likely be biased, and biased advice might not be what we need either. (They are a different person, who experienced something with different people, in a different time, they don't have your lived experience or come from the same circumstances as you.)
3) Seek out the most level-headed, self-aware and objective support. They will be able to offer compassion whilst sharing what might be good for you AND what you might not have thought of.
To End...
What am I doing now with no job or physical home, might you ask? Well, I followed my heart; I acknowledged that I really needed connection and intimacy, and went to see my partner in Europe after 3 months of long distance. I feel a more internally balanced and know I can decide what I want from here on out with my cup half full. :) Ps.
