Nakd by name, Nakd by nature

Nakd; literally. Naked of flavour and nakd by name, thus a multitalented bar already. Stripped of all the common food allergens such as gluten, wheat and dairy, this minuscule 35g bar is also stripped of any pleasure you may normally attain from eating a nutritious, albeit sugary, snack bar.

'Nature is nice' yes, but not when there are only five ingredients (that are usually bl**dy indulgent by themselves) packed together in their calculated percentages in this case and made to taste like soil. It is supposed to be a 'cocoa orange yummy raw fruit and nut bar' but I've tasted more cocoa orange in spag bol and could describe 'off' yoghurt as yummier. It literally tastes like the epitome of a five year old's kitchen experiment.

It's rather good for you, yeah we get that, oh and it's sugar and syrup free, but I don't want it to taste like it. Sometimes I crave a little bit of trickery from these healthy alternatives or I might as well buy a good ol'pack of prunes and sit sucking on them with a face like a slapped arse.  

You haven't heard the best of it yet. As soon as the packet was opened by a fellow fan (#what?) beside me, I inhaled an odour resembling damp, toilet-ridden socks. It smelt like dank, garden, pond water and I couldn't for the life of me fathom why? It contains lovely things like cashews, raisons and cocoa. The texture was a really moist version of a brownie but with added gritty bits and it wasn't a looker either. I've seen prettier sh*ts...like a glistening, wet, reformed and digested cake, packed into an oblong form. Weird. 

Don't do it to yourself people, it's not worth the intake. Grab some chocolate raisins and squeeze in a next-day jog. Carpe diem and all that- satisfy your taste buds.